This guy I named the teacher based on his profession. He was not quite as memorable as 'The Choker' or 'The Photographer A.K.A. Mr. Doughnut Belly' but he is still an experience to be shared. The Teacher was a young attractive guy (my age) who liked the outdoors. He ran outdoor adventure activities with a high school and looked great on screen. Fit, healthy, employed and driven. Based on this information I agreed to contact.
We proceeded through a guided communication process, answering questions and responding to each other. His responses had a number of spelling and grammatical mistakes. I decided to continue with the contact and look past it [the time felt I should try something new]. So we arranged a time to chat on the phone. He agreed to call me on the Saturday at 11am.
Saturday came and when 11 was well over I sent an email letting him know that I had waited for his call and requesting a time to call him. He wrote back apologising profusely and let me know that he had won the cricket match that day. He suggested a time for the following day. I didn’t care about the cricket. I did notice his lack of justification for the missed call but accepted the apology.
So the time on Sunday came and I was on my way to Launceston. I phoned, figuring it would entertain me for some of the journey. There was no answer. Further along my journey I phoned back. No answer. I left a message letting him know that I was calling at the time he had suggested and leaving a message as he was not there. It was a short but pleasant pointing out of the obvious. I did not call again.
At 2:30 the next morning my phone rang. I was sleeping soundly at the time so luckily didn’t trouble myself to wake up for it. I did wake up to a voice message on my phone at a more appropriate time. It was the teacher. Drunk and incomprehensible.
I was heading out for breakfast that morning so got the opportunity to play the message to both friends I met out that morning. We had a bit of a laugh and decided that this guy probably wasn’t worth the hassle. From the evidence so far I was getting a sense that he probably wasn’t at a point in his life that looked to settle down.
To the teacher’s credit I did actually get an apology message from him later that day. By this point there were too many apologies in the field and not enough action. I replied, making light of the situation and he let me know he would call later. He didn’t call. I didn’t pursue it.
Maybe he was just having a bad few weeks. Maybe he was as disorganised, unreliable and motivated by a good drinking night as he appeared. In any case it seemed strange that this person was so unaware of the impression he was putting out to the world. Did he really think this is how he could find a healthy relationship?
So what did I learn from this contact? I realised that I am looking for someone who is mature. Someone I can rely on. Someone who will do what they say they will, rather than promise, and then apologise when the promise lies unfulfilled. I also learnt that I should stick to my profile/initial communication screening protocols. Clearly there is something in that!
