The Lawyer

I met up with a date who in his spare time was a lawyer. I like to call this fellow, 'The Lawyer'... you can probably guess why. Initially there wasn't too much on The Lawyer's profile. His job was there, some basic characteristics and a few things in the interests category. I usually don't accept contact from people with such limited information but he is a lawyer, so I thought, 'what the heck'. Being a lawyer suggests that he is educated, reasonably intelligent and he makes enough money to get by. That is a good start.

We decided to meet at a bar in the main strip. It is a nice casual venue with good meal deals on certain nights of the week. Date night was not one of those meal nights but we planned to have dinner and a drink or two there anyway.  

  

First impressions suggested that this guy was alright. He was attractive and casually well dressed. The Lawyer even held good conversation... for 20 minutes. After then it started to go downhill. He asserted that although there is an age gap between us, age shouldn't matter. He said he had a good feeling about us and that he thought we were a good match. He was 12 years older than me (14 years is my limit). I wasnt feeling so good about us yet, we didn't even know each other!

We continued chatting about our weeks and what we did, the things we enjoyed and what has brought us to internet dating. He was divorced with children. His children and friends had insisted he get out more. He struck me as someone who was a little lost with himself and needed a bit of motivation to engage with his own life. Maybe internet dating will be that for him.

There were two topics of conversation that he decided to discuss that stood out to me. The first conversation topic was about money. Now I know there is no rule written rule... or wait is there?

I am pretty sure it is well known that money is off the agenda for appropriate first date conversations. I could have probably guessed by the job description that The Lawyer was bringing in some bacon... he didn't need to slide it into the conversation a couple of times (just in case I missed it the first time). I am not someone waiting to be bought and talk of money is more of a business transaction to me (not the kind of thing I want to sit through on date 1). No thanks.

The second topic was of an astrological nature. Now I leave it to anyone to believe what they want to (okay, so maybe for my job I have to look at challenging beliefs occasionally but generally I let people be... unless I am considering them as a partner). He started out by saying "you know, I am a Leo and you a Scorpio. We have great compatibility". I wasn't expecting it from a lawyer and didn't really think it was a great topic at all. He continued. He asked me what I thought about star signs.

I told him that I believed about 1/3 of people that believe in star signs will change part of their personality to be more like their sign. I didn't quote where I got that from, but I remember hearing that statistic in an anomolistic psychology lecture once. In making this statement I would have thought that it suggests that I might not buy into the whole star sign thing. It was a subtle hint. He missed it. He continued to talk about star signs, and flick to his mobile facebook for too long than just to be looking for photos to show me. So this brings me to the clincher. Phone use during a date.

I usually keep my phone on silent (and not in use). I am not sure how some people missed the memo. It is not okay to use your phone while out on a first date!

He didn't take phone calls but what he did do was show me photos. I wasn't interested in looking at the photos but politely nodded and briefly commented on each. In my head was asking myself "really?". Now I can understand the merit of showing and sharing pictures. They are memories. They are moments in time special to the person that owns them. I, however, am not interested in being shown pictures of children, friends, holidays with children, friend's children, dogs or any other such things on date  number 1. How about we see if we even like each other and save all that other stuff for when we know I might actually meet these people and care some day.

So what was my decision on this fine specimen of an internet dater? I hear you asking. Well as much as our astrological connection predicted chemistry and good grounding and his job suggested financial stability, I wasn't sold. I called it after sitting through another half an hour of facebook photo looking and I went home.

In a crazy moment I was even considering going on the second date, just to give him the second chance to see if he improves. I canned that idea pretty soon after I had it. Those feelings of apprehension and and reservation are usually worth listening to.