If someone's profile is their bait/lure, then the first email would have to be the hook. When fishing, if the first bite is managed well you have a catch. If it is botched up, this fish is still prioritising the get away.
To me, the best email stands out, is creative and includes a little bit of humour (much like a profile). It tells me something about the person making contact and leaves me wanting to know more. Unfortunately this is not often the case in emails. The most common thing put forward to me in the first email is "tell me something about yourself".
I am in two minds about whether I mind this statement or not. On it's own, it can show that the other person is interested in finding out about who I am and what I find important. It is an ice breaker, an open ended statement calling for a response. On the other hand, when used on its own it is a very broad statement to respond to. What does someone want to know? I could easily pick out the factual things in response and recite them off - hair colour, eyes, years of study, height, birth weight, parental marital status, siblings, weight... no wait... that is not going to happen! That would be boring as batshit to read and completely irrelevant to the purpose of the first email. Plus most of that information (okay, some of that information) is already up there on my profile. This question when used without much leading information after I have already provided a lot of information in my profile, is also lazy.
As I have mentioned before, there is a fair amount in my profile. I hint, suggest, allude to, and flat out state who I am. I include openings to invite people to ask more about aspects of me, what I do and what I enjoy. I would hope that it is some of this information that has led the person to send me a kiss in the first place! "Tell me something about yourself" does not acknowledge any of the information I have already put forward, nor anything about them that I can then use to personalise my response!
So what do I reply to such a comment? Although I get a little annoyed (sometimes quite annoyed) about this statement, I often pick one or two things such as work and a hobby (that I have already mentioned on my profile). I introduce each thing by talking a little about myself and then reflect a question back to the person on a similar topic. I usually even flick across to their profile, pull something out and ask about it to end the email, just to add something a little more novel. This usually brings forth a satisfactory response.
Although initially I get a rise when seeing this question, once the ball is rolling things usually pick up in further contact. I have come to acknowledge that the creativity and thoughtfulness required in sending the ultimate first email is in low abundance in the online dating world.
Like I said, I am in two minds about "tell me about yourself" and my responses range from ambivalence to frustration, depending how much energy I can be bothered putting towards it. I guess when I attribute laziness to the question it feeds into frustration, whereas, if I assume social incompetence I cope a little better. I don't know that either of those things is particularly desirable to me though.
Note: What really bugs me even more is when the replier answers my questions only minimally (hence not providing further footing for a good conversation) or adds "so what do you want to know about me?"! Talk about handing over all responsibility for meaningful dialogue! Who can be bothered always having to create a meaningful scaffold for interaction! Not me. Especially after a working week full of it as my job! At this point the communication is pretty far gone. My next reply is usually an email including the line "I am sorry, I don't think things will work out between us." It may close down my opportunities a little but it certainly helps with my frustration levels.
Rant over!
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